Snarky ColdWinter #2

[fist_of_hydra]

The team had been arguing for a while now, and getting nowhere. They'd narrowed Savage's location down to Italy in September of 1944, but couldn't get any farther than that. James thought he had a pretty good guess what Savage wanted - this was where HYDRA had most of their facilities, and the Red Skull would be the perfect ally to Savage.

The only people who would have any further intelligence about Savage's possible movements were the Allied or Axis forces. Neither were going to hand the information over to a bunch of strangers. Ray wanted to play dress up and march in, pretend to be an officer and demand the information. Sara wanted to go in at night and steal it. There were half a dozen other ideas floating around, and all of them were bad. Quite a few of them were likely to get them shot at.

Ray might be onto something, though. At least, if you turned your head and looked at the idea sideways. Trying to march in and claim to be an officer nobody in the camp had ever seen was asking for a swift visit from the MPs.

Marching in and claiming to be an officer everyone in the camp had seen was another matter.

James had been lurking by the doorway, as was his habit, rather than sitting around the table with the others. He hadn't been contributing, so he was able to slip out without inciting comment. Once in the hall, he strode toward the fabrication room. "Gideon. Do you have any footage or photos of me in uniform in this time period?"

"Of course, Mr. Barnes."

"Good. I need a copy made, and make sure it looks worn and used. Can you do that?"

"Certainly."

"Then do it." James strode into the fabrication area, where a uniform was already synthesizing. He paused, looking at it, and rubbed a hand over the scruff on his chin.

Five minutes later he strode back toward the main room. It felt odd to be back in this uniform. Gideon had even managed to make it smell right - which was to say, like blood and gunpowder and harsh lye soap. Even stranger was not feeling his hair brushing against his cheeks and neck. He hadn't had short hair since HYDRA took him, and he found he already missed it long.

This wasn't him, anymore. It felt like the ghost of Bucky Barnes was riding his shoulders, and the weight was pressing him down.

"...are we supposed to do, walk in and ask them nicely?" Sara was saying, her tone full of exasperation as she threw her hands up at Ray.

"That's exactly what we're gonna do." James rose his voice enough to cut through the babble. Everyone turned to look at him, and most of them did a wide-eyed double-take. He raised an eyebrow at them. "It's just a matter of the right person doing the asking."

Comments

[fist_of_hydra]

"No, you'd be fucking miserable in the 40s," James acknowledge wryly, finally looking at him. His eyes were haunted, dark with regret and fear. "I just mean... you know one of the reasons I avoid Steve is 'cause I hate how he looks at me. Like I can see the reflection of Bucky in his eyes, and I know he's wishing he could help me 'get better', be more like I was."

He shook his head, fists clenching. "I don't want to see you ever look at me like that. Like you're wishing I was more like him. And the thing is, you deserve someone more like him. Not a brooding, surly, antisocial asshole."

[coldlenny]

Len rolled his eyes. He understood James' fear, but he wasn't about to get all soppy about it, either. He just hopped up on the bed and kneed several gun parts out of the way, so he could wrap an arm around the other man and lean against him.

"Stop it, you're making me sick," he complained. "You wouldn't see me look like that, because I don't, at all wish you were him. You think I deserve to be with someone who's not a brooding, surly, antisocial asshole? Have you met Mick? I like those kinds of people. I like you, just as you are, so get with the program."

[fist_of_hydra]

The fear he'd felt when he'd realized Len had been taken by HYDRA might be gone now that his lover was rescued, but the sick feeling it created in his gut remained. Having Len curled up against him helped ease some of it.

His words helped ease more. James snorted in reluctant amusement, because he certainly couldn't argue that Len did seem to go for a type.

"It was hard to see him," he admitted, turning his head so he was muttering into Len's shoulder, not looking at him. "My old self. I knew I'd changed, but actually seeing him... he's like a completely different fucking person. It was creepy."

[coldlenny]

"I know the feeling," Len said. "Think about how talking to five-year-old me was like." He knew it wasn't the same, but minimizing it was his way of coping.

He tightened his arms around there and snuggled in. "What I don't get is why you're so goddamn down on the way you are right now. You're the guy I like. So you must have some good qualities."

[fist_of_hydra]

"Still pissed I missed out on that," James muttered, the corners of his lips tugging up in a reluctant smile. "I bet you were a fucking adorable rug rat."

He also would have had a few words of his own to say to Snart Sr. Maybe Len hadn't been intimidating enough to the guy to scare him straight, but James was willing to bet the Winter Soldier could have made a more lasting impression.

On the other hand, he wasn't sure he could have actually met the asshole responsible for creating all those scars that Len hated so much, and not put his hand through the guy's chest to rip his heart out. And then Lisa wouldn't have been born, and that would have been a fucking shame.

But all that was beside the point, and he knew it. He sighed. "I guess it just freaked me out, seeing the two of you together like that. I'm used to thinking of him as the 'better' me."

[coldlenny]

"Well, he's not. He was a pain in my ass most of the time," Len said with complete sincerity. "Sure, I was making sure he didn't get hurt - he's you. But we were never 'together'."

And now he was done with dealing with James' jealousy. He grabbed James by the hair and tugged his head around to kiss him, firmly and with passion.

[fist_of_hydra]

It wasn't jealousy... well, it was also that. But mostly it was fear that Len would find him, James, lacking in some way after meeting him, Bucky.

The kiss suggested that was anything but the truth, though. Though it had only been a few days of separation, James felt like it had been a year and he was dying for the taste of his lover.

He growled into the kiss, shifting to get a grip on Len's shoulder so he could roll them both over, uncaring that he was sending gun bits scattering everywhere. He ended up firmly on top of the other man, kneeling over him with his thigh wedged between Len's.

"You're mine," he asserted, his voice a low rumble in his chest. "I can't... fuck, I can't stand the idea of losing you. Of having you be disappointed that you're stuck with me. Because you are fucking stuck with me, I ain't going nowhere."

[coldlenny]

That was definitely not the case. Len grunted as James rolled them over and pressed him down, squirming and fighting the grip, but only for show. This time, he didn't mind James taking control.

He shook his head, smirking up at James. "Good thing you're stuck with me, too."

[fist_of_hydra]

The way Len writhed beneath him was anything but a protest. They both knew he could never break free if James didn't want to let go, and they also both knew James would release him the moment the struggle was real.

Trust. Everything was always about trust, for both of them. He trusted this man enough to bare everything to him. Everything, more than even Steve had seen of him.

He opened his mouth to say as much, but what spilled out was something else entirely. Something a lot mushier than he'd ever thought he would say. "I love you, you fucking asshole."

Okay. Mushy for him. Maybe not by 'normal' standards.

[coldlenny]

Len froze at the declaration, softened as it was by the rest of it. Somehow the rest of it just slammed into him anyway, making his lungs turn to solid ice and choking off his breath.

In a moment, his lungs got working again and he closed his eyes. "Oh man, why'd you have to do that? I love you, but don't make a big deal about it, okay?"

[fist_of_hydra]

Shit, had he fucked it up? James hadn't meant to say it, had known it might not be the right thing to say, considering the way they'd both avoided it up to this point. But he hadn't thought he would actually upset Len.

"Sorry," he muttered, and clung to the memory of Len saying it back. If only he could pluck it out of his head and put it straight into his journal, because words weren't even going to come close to the impact the memory would have on him.

He shifted to grind his thigh against Len's groin, hoping to distract his lover from the mistake. Running his hand down the other man's torso, he found the hem of his heavy sweater and started pushing up, wanting to damn well see for himself that his lover was unharmed.

[coldlenny]

Len twitched when James apologized. It wasn't James who'd fucked up - it was Len who'd had a little freakout just then, and he knew he'd made a mistake and James hadn't understood that he was just... just being Len.

He shook his head. "No don't." He caught James by the chin and forced his head up. "Don't apologize because I'm an asshole. Say it again. I'll do it right this time."

[fist_of_hydra]

James cocked his head, uncertain. His eyes scanned Len's expression, searching for some clue what the fuck he was supposed to do, here. "How are you an asshole? You're right, I shouldn't have made a big deal about it."

That wasn't how they worked. It wasn't how he worked, it's not like he'd ever said it before. Might never say it again. It had just... felt necessary, in that moment.

[coldlenny]

Len gritted his teeth. It was hard enough to ask the first time for James to give him another chance to make it right. He couldn't ask again. "Forget it," he murmured, and flashed a careless smirk, leaning in to steal another kiss.

[fist_of_hydra]

And apparently, he'd just made it worse instead of fixing it. James knew his lover well enough to realize that if it really didn't matter, Len would be laughing it off with a sly pun and a joke. The smirk he managed was rather spoiled by the tension in his jaw.

So he put his heart and soul into the kiss, pouring on the heat to try to thaw Len's tension. His partner might love the cold, but there had always been heat to spare between them.

As their tongues tangled, he ran his hands up under Len's sweater, sliding over the bumps and rough patches of scars, ghosting over the untouched areas, seeking out the places he knew Len liked to be touched. When they were finally forced to come up for air, he muttered, "I do, though. Love you. So you might hafta put up with hearing it once in a while."

[coldlenny]

Len relaxed slowly as James touched him so skillfully. He knew the other man was trying to distract him, and he tried to allow it, but the effect was spoiled slightly by James's next words. His shoulders twitched slightly, but he knew he couldn't screw this up again.

"I love you, too," he whispered. "You deserve someone who can hear it without being a jerk about it."

[fist_of_hydra]

The thrill of hearing it, properly and deliberately, was nearly overwhelming. James breathed out hard, nuzzling at Len's jaw. "Yeah, but you're my jerk. I promise I won't get mushy on you too often. I just... needed to say it."

Because after all this, knowing that Len would choose him, as he was now, over his former self... it was something that always gnawed at him, the certainty that he was somehow less than he had been. Less charming, less handsome, less desirable.

But now Len had seen him both ways, and James came out on top.

"Guess I'll just have to make it worth your while to put up with it." Gripping the material of Len's sweater tightly in both hands, James tore it off, exposing his lover's chest. One of the best things about being on the Waverider was that he no longer had to worry about whether he was allowed to destroy clothing, because Gideon was always happy to make them more.

[coldlenny]

Len drew in a breath and ran his fingers over James' back, slipping his fingers up under his shirt and scraping his nails over the skin. "And I'll try not to get spooked next time," he said.

There was never a contest. He loved James for who he was, not for who he could be, or who he could have been.

Then he hissed as James ripped his clothes off, throwing his head back a moment later and laughing. "Why would I want anything else?"

He punched James in the flesh shoulder, then wrapped his arms around him and dragged him down roughly into a kiss.

[fist_of_hydra]

Humming his approval, James plundered Len's mouth and resumed his earlier exploration of his lover's body. Losing his Enhancement, however briefly, made everything feel and taste and smell so much more intense, almost like it had when they'd first given him the serum.

He already loved the taste of Len, but now it was intoxicating. He knew the map of his lover's scars by heart, but he was learning every bump and ridge all over again. At this point convincing his arm it was overheating was all but reflexive, and he pushed the boundaries harder than he ever had before. Frost formed on the metal, a line he usually refused to cross.

Tonight, for this, even the ice couldn't bother him.

After all, without the ice, he'd never have met Len. And now that he'd chosen it for himself, rather than having it forced on him, he found he was more at peace with the last seven decades of his life.

[coldlenny]

Len hissed again when that chilled arm touched his skin, such a contrast to James' usual warmth. His eyes popped open and he looked, seeing the frost and realizing that James was pushing it even further than usual. He gave a deep, wordless rumble of gratitude, and settled into the bed, luxuriating in the contrast of heat and cold and allowing James to take the lead.

He really did think he was lucky to have scored a guy like James - not anything he would have expected, or thought he deserved.

[fist_of_hydra]

In James' opinion, Len deserved a lot better than him. But James wasn't going anywhere and would never give up Len without a fight. Not even to himself. Especially not to himself.

He had to be careful, he didn't want to stress the system so much the arm broke down, especially after he'd just gotten it back. But he was damn well going to push the limits.

Trailing his hands up, he tweaked the fingers of both hands over Len's nipples, then travel on to his shoulders. He slid his left hand over to ghost his fingers across the other man's jaw, then wrapped them carefully around Len's throat. He was careful not to apply any pressure, but the threat was there, and it was all about trust.

[coldlenny]

Len drew in a breath as the hand closed around his throat. At one time he would have spooked, but by now he knew that if he truly did want James to stop something, he would. And so the threat was thrilling rather than terrifying.

He let out a soft groan as if it were with the last of his air, though he continued to breath normally.

"That's it," he whispered breathlessly.

[fist_of_hydra]

The way Len opened up for him, only for him, always blew James away. This man who was so cautious and closed off, never showing any more of his true self than he had to, was willing to let James see all of him.

And James loved every inch, every flaw and scar, every rough patch and hard edge.

With a growl he leaned in and kissed Len again, fierce and relentless, cutting his breath of in an entirely different way from the threat of his hand around the other man's throat.

[coldlenny]

And Len loved the seemingly untamed savagery of him, tempered by a gentle and kind heart that endured no matter the horrors that he'd experienced. James was the strongest person that Len had ever known - something to aspire to, rather than to reject in favour of the younger model. And through that strength, that indomitable spirit of goodness had never truly been broken.

Len couldn't trust someone who didn't truly earn that trust, and he trusted James.

He groaned again, drinking down that fierce kiss and writhing under James' weight as if trying to buck him off. But he didn't kick or punch, didn't truly fight him, only allowed himself to feel the incredible power of the man who Len finally truly knew would never abuse that power.

[fist_of_hydra]

They matched each other so fucking well in a way that shouldn't have worked at all. James hoped he never stopped appreciating that fact, never took it for granted.

Finally he had to move his hand or risk causing damage to Len's throat from the intensity of the cold. He replaced it with his mouth, licking and biting at the icy skin, his hand moving south with clear intent.

What was left of the fake army uniform pants was gone a moment later, torn away along with the very period-inaccurate boxer briefs beneath. All James cared about was the skin that lay beneath, pale and scarred and beautiful. He ran his hand over Len's inner thighs, tracing abstract patterns that brushed against his straining dick every so often, but never long enough to do more than hint at a tease.