Figuring it had to be the explanation and actually having it confirmed were two very different things. Bucky went pale - paler - and stared from Len to James. "What the hell happens to me?" he blurted out.
James was staring right back, flat but not as dead as he had been before, and without the aggression. At this point, he was simply resigned. "Don't ask questions you already know you don't want the answer to."
"You said you were ninety-eight, how the hell..."
"Serum," James interrupted him. "You've already figured that out. And other reasons I'm not going into."
Bucky swallowed, scanning the other him from top to bottom. The anger, the surliness, none of it was normal for him. How could he possibly end up like this? And where the hell was Steve, why wouldn't his best friend be on a mission like this?
He was deathly afraid the answer to both questions might be the same. "Why wouldn't you want to change the past and make everything better?"
James sighed, and looked at Len. His answer was to his lover as much as Bucky. "Because it wouldn't be better. Not in the ways that count." Glancing back at Bucky, he answered the question he knew was actually preying on his younger self. "Steve's fine, he's just got bigger shit to take care of than this. I don't actually need him holding my hand all the time, y'know."
That made Bucky sputter a protest about requiring a babysitter, which at least got his mind off what sort of horrible things might happen to turn him into James.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2016-07-10 04:47 pm (UTC)James was staring right back, flat but not as dead as he had been before, and without the aggression. At this point, he was simply resigned. "Don't ask questions you already know you don't want the answer to."
"You said you were ninety-eight, how the hell..."
"Serum," James interrupted him. "You've already figured that out. And other reasons I'm not going into."
Bucky swallowed, scanning the other him from top to bottom. The anger, the surliness, none of it was normal for him. How could he possibly end up like this? And where the hell was Steve, why wouldn't his best friend be on a mission like this?
He was deathly afraid the answer to both questions might be the same. "Why wouldn't you want to change the past and make everything better?"
James sighed, and looked at Len. His answer was to his lover as much as Bucky. "Because it wouldn't be better. Not in the ways that count." Glancing back at Bucky, he answered the question he knew was actually preying on his younger self. "Steve's fine, he's just got bigger shit to take care of than this. I don't actually need him holding my hand all the time, y'know."
That made Bucky sputter a protest about requiring a babysitter, which at least got his mind off what sort of horrible things might happen to turn him into James.